Believing is Living!

I am. I will. I can. I do.

Picture By Ayesha Riaz

(Eyes closed, I breathe short, shallow breaths, willing myself away, anywhere but here, anywhere but with my reveries and the belief. I am afraid. The intensity makes me afraid. )


To live we need to believe and when we believe we actually start living!


Sometimes fear, dependency and failure causes you to lose hope, you cease in trusting yourself. In believing!
Believe in YES rather than NO at every round-about of life, barren or colored. World will keep on bragging you for some things you regret to face but if you really want to have a seat in this cinema, in this movie 'Planet Earth' than you got to believe in what ever you do, or think of.


Take hold of your feelings because believing is your check-point. If you have prayed since long time and yet you think it is unanswered, still believe in him the one who created you and the universe and thus he is the giver and the taker, wait maybe because he has decided something far better than what you asked for. If you had worked hard and still you couldn't reach up to a higher level, no problem believe in the upcoming days that are going to be brightened or maybe you should have tried even harder!
For if you believe in what ever you do nobody on Earth would be able to stop you. Don't be hopeless, believe in  your power and then only you'll live. 1 bonus, limited edition and same person that is what you need to believe. Thus you have one life chance that is limited and you are not going to be replaced if you get injured you have to play this game till the last over.


If you think you lost because, someone left you, you didn't got admission your dream university, your future seems grim, your teacher hates you, people criticize you, you don't know have money or a better idea, you don't have friends, you don't know how to come out of that nutshell you are in, you are shy or scared, someone said you NO or you were betrayed and you think your parents are disappointed from you, then I am sorry you are wrong, you lost because you ceased in believing in yourself, the inner power and your soul, your own prayers and decisions, in believing that something is great ahead and that you are not Junk!


Why can't we learn to sya, its many times whne ats chool I don't believe I'll make it to the highest marks, I'll succeed, I'll surely get good marks even if my paper has gone so-so and hwne I don't believe in all this I don't succeed, I don't get what I had desired because I had stopped believing.Why can't we learn to say "I am fine" or maybe "I should have tried harder".  If Mark Zukerberg wouldn't have thought to believe in his idea or if Newton wouldn't have believe in his observation, they'd not have invented or come up with 'Facebook' and 'Gravity'. If Charles Babbage wouldn't have thought to believe in his structure of a future desktop then he'd never been able to invent computer!...Levels in life are almost endless, childhood is the first level and has a n easy mode but everything is not roses, there are thorns and cacti blocking your way but you can only rech to the last level even if you have less energy, only when you BELIEVE because living has got a key of B shaped imagination, which has carved believe on it, you have found the key,think start living because you were dead up till now as you never believed! Start believing. Start Living people to prevent yourself from regretting later!Like my comfort is that God knows what I'm struggling with, and He can get me through this. I'm not just going to sit back and do nothing though... I've already made a plan of action (plans and believe them... it's what I do best;)), and soon I'll be free!
Remember
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger


Written by your Bubble Mate,
Ayesha Riaz:-)

Where I Belong?

Where I belong?
In the silence thats odd,
In the laughter thats enough already,
In the daunting pain of my heart,
In the tenderness in your heart,

Picture by Ayesha Riaz

Where I belong?
To the world that hauls you less than no time,
To the bitter screams,
In the everlasting beam,
Where I belong, not a one takes a hint, through there gleam,


Where I belong?
In my reveries of triumph,
In the upshots of failure,
In the unspoken words,
To the battling fields,


Where I belong?
In your smugness,
In my frailties,
Down in the dumps,


Where I belong?
In the stars that shine,
In the confined mind,
....to nowhere, I belong!


Written by your bubble mate,
Ayesha Riaz:-)

The Blues Swept The Greens!

I heard my mom saying to my dad "You should have told if you didn't wanted to eat, I had to cook all this quickly, and I even hurried for flour perhaps I am missing the match for this" Dad sighed "You wanted to see the match, whats left now?"...the pressure of match was encumbered on everyone and you could see kids patrolling on the roads with slogans, burst of fireworks when ever it was a boundary, the jazba songs, facebook dps and not to forget the early morning everyone was chanting over this! They say that a picture is equal to a thousand words, and at Mohali, the image of Pakistani woman in the stands really said it all. Dupatta firmly in place on her head, her lips moved feverishly, with her face turned up in desperate beseech to the heavens, as she prayed earnestly for Pakistan to win.

I wanted the HBL commercial to put "....for reaching the Finals" instead of "...for reaching the semi-finals" this time. I wanted my nation to win on that same land which once restricted us to play. Hafeez you shouldn't have played that ball which was too wide, you were playing better and I thought you'd be that cream which would be the reason for our happy-sniffs. When Umer Akmal you hit the ball so hard that it resulted as a six with just one hand, for a moment I thought maybe we would win. I had never turned out to be so patriotic, maybe because this was about my nation and the 1000's of hopes attached and the shouts with every wicket being detached, maybe the pressure was mounting as the Indian bowlers cheered, maybe I couldn't bare the loss and just maybe I was being a bit or too emotional on the pak/national songs. I went in the room, thinking this was just a nightmare. I didn't wanted to see that mess, just incase there was a boundary my sister clapped and I breathed at ease, but every time I heard the ball hitting the bat and making the sound that I knew was of being bolded, ball hitting the stumps and my heart aching as if it was about to come in my throat. The blues swept the greens and I saw messages rotating around: 'Recite Surah Fateha 40 times, we will win Inshallah....:'(' Wahab Riaz did a great job and on the other hand I didn't liked Gul's effort to make his ball spin in to a yoker. Tears rolled in my eyes when Yuvaraj pointed his hand to the other side maybe to the pavillion, showing Asad Shafiq and pointing him out, he meant that "Go back where you came from" they didn't let us win, people said Allah washed the land by rain because we had to win on the same land and do "sajda" After all Tendulkar had a charmed life today! 

All that could change was a ''Miracle''. "Now all was in Allah's hands"---I heard the elders whispering.

Everyone had gone green and the media had been ultra green, the talk-shows, commercials and headlines were filled with all this. 

I am glad we aren't like those people who start criticizing there own cricketers, burning there posters and posing a loud mouthed media! We are still the loyal ones who think maybe things would changed and we'll win. I hope the nation would endure all this for what they prepared earlier, skipping schools and putting up all those pictures and statuses on Facebook that we'll win. Its hard to believe on the song:

"Tum jeeto ya haro, suno oh oo, humein tum sey pyaar hai" :'(

Lets not be the ones who hate there idol because he did a mistake forgetting all his great effort and only loving him when he wins and saying "Is team Ka tu pata tha, bohat weak hai kuch nai karay ge. Kismat say Aiy thee" when they lose.

Lets cheer up and believe on this: Even the best falls down sometimes!

No matter what blunders we made and the rise of jazba songs we sang all day yet we need to move on from green shirts to school/office uniforms!:)

even I was wishing to listen that Rise of Jazba song and Geo Tu aisay again and clap or hoot and just maybe for a moment forget what my country had gone through. Faith and Faith, lets keep it shining. 

What ever happens Pak and Ind will never be friends, I was crying as I saw them, Sonia Ghandi yippy-ing, this was the real final. What fate did was made us lose from India the only worst enemy so far. And when Misbah stopped to shake hands they ignored him and I felt like someone had slapped me concrete on the national highway. How ever 4 next years and another worldcup maybe the next time we'll smile.  Under Shahid Afridi the setting of bowling was great and was better than batting through out the tournament. He went on eating his heart out till the end, India got the better of there rivals in their race of life. Although the team tried hard to bridge over but you could see the sadness through the long faces they pulled. We all know the captain was feeling crestfallen on suffering a heavy loss because he had nothing left to tall back upon! Once again Wahab Riaz (and others except of the ones who couldn't grip the ball well or get glued to wicket) did a great job.

But unfortunately India won!

Written by your bubble mate,

Ayesha Riaz:-)

Listen And I’ll Tell You All! (A story of flood victim)

Picture by Ayesha Riaz

No longer the corner of classes stood,
He stood there in silence,
Realizing the death,
That laid on his icy hands,
Turning to all eyes,
Wishing it would have been a nightmare only,


Watching the wavelets devastating every bit,
He was losing more than he could afford,
The wind bloweth whither it listeth,
His heart too full for words,
The sights of people patrolling on sidewalks,
He stood there for someone who could listen and he'll tell him all,


It all vanished, it flooded the memories,
No mewling of sheep,
No giggles, no laughter,
And no cheer of toddlers,
No claps of little ones,
No wooden sticks,
That he fixed long ago to pose slingshots,


He saw the bangles,
Of his mother falling apart from her wrists,
Broken bangles scattered all around,
A golden Allah rested on her chest,
The chain burrowed under the skin tags and folded her neck,
As she lay down in hustle,


He stood there with empty hands,
Everything was no more they way it was,
The whole world around was orbiting,
Seeing everything flick and change,
Who'd knew better than him,
Who'd knew better than him the despair,
Of losing people who are your first memories,


Earlier this day,
What must he had planned,
Eating Popsicles with his mates,
Having candied bites of baker's Gulab Jamans,
Planning for a relay race,
Swarming up the neighbor's tree,
And plucking mangoes when the watchmen's away,
To buy a new pair of shoes,


But he has lost the older ones already,
Everything has swept away,

 
He's there in the sight,
Of screams for help,
Of tears that seep down the cheeks,
In the cacophony of losing people,
From mellifluous,
From bread and butter,
To home less,
Form dawn,
To frightening dusk,
Form grins,
To frowns,
He is hopeless,
Waiting for a new dawn,


Where no water would plunge into houses,
Where he won't be flooded,
Where no tiny legs, would sack under muddy water,
Where no mother would cry,
Where there will be the colors of sunshine,
Colors of new dawn,
Colors of his culture,
Ready to shine again for ever, 


Will you wait till I return?
Till I return,
Listen and I'll tell you all…


Written by your bubble mate,
Ayesha RiazJ

Reminiscenes!

Since 2000-2011, I have got to meet loads of women, those whomade me learn, and all of them were my teachers. They met loads of students even after me but I'd never forget them! The book memories made with them force me to still look back. I try to look back but things have grown blurry still I know 2008 and 2009 well enough.
 There was one of my English teacher "Ms.Sana Zaidi", she was great at English and taught us Social Studies as well. Yet I really miss her. She was the only teacher I knew a bit more closely. Her smile and hands are still in my mind. She was remarkably intelligent. Firstly I thought she was from abroad or stuff through her accent and had completed her studies form there. But I never asked her about herself. To me she was one who loved me a lot and taught well! I still remember when in my test a fill in blank'c answer was 'riverine' to which I wrote 'river' only as I submitted it, I realized I had not written 'rine'. I went to her and asked her for my paper and told her I had missed 'rine'. After a couple of seconds she grinned and gave me the paper. but she didn't gave it to anyone else to which I felt like I was special or stuff that might seem silly but her even slightest of acts adored me! She was so great.

Picture by Ayesha Riaz

 I still remember when my 4th grade she asked to everyone 'Who is Obama?' to which I answered 'The candidate of US who is standing for president' and after a second I thought this was so easy and the others didn't answer she clapped and said "Excellent Ayesha!" I felt like being blessed. Her little things allured me. Maybe she knew how I was, maybe she wanted me to not be shy and just maybe I loved her! It was the last day of school and she had brought hand made 'Chanay wali chaat' from her home for the whole class. And she had given cards to everyone, I still have my card which has got a huge elephant illustrated on it and it says:
''Dear Ayesha,


Best of luck for your Exams and a very bright future!

with best wishes from your teacher Sana Zaidi

Dated:14.5.08"


I still feel so contended when I read this. I remember when students asked her what are the highest marks in English out of 30 she answered "I guess 27.5" When she distributed the papers I got 27.5 but they weren't highest because a guy had got 29 and the other 28. It just made me think out of no reason that she only remembered mine(:D) The most reminisce scene was when before the result day at the carnival she offered me to come with her for 'hi-tea' with me there were only two other guys and I felt so glad that I had came out with her for the first time. While she talked to the mother of the other two guys I was only able to listen "We had a group of students and really great professor who would teach us about the university or prepare for the university test of IBA (Institute of Business Administration) i was the most capable of all and that my professor used to say 'sana you'll make it I know, I only worry about them' but I was the most deserving of all yet I didn't got admission there while the others did...After that I remained so frustrated that at home I just told my dad and mum that now I don't want to do anything and I ventured in my room-"


I only heard this much of her story and I got to know she was the real queen, I came in 6th grade in a different branch. I had a problem with my result marking and I remember I called one of my old teacher and I asked about my problem and then about her work and when I asked about Ms.Sana she said "I am not allowed to tell but don't tell it to anyone, Ms Sana won't or might not be joining us as she has cancer of bones". I couldn't believe my ears that this was actually the truth. Recently I asked a friend mine about her he said she is better now and that she's fine.


Thus now as well when I look at her number I wish I could call her but I have nothing to say, I don't know how to hook up again. I just got to know she has lost her hair, she's unmarried but remarkably the diva in my thoughts. She wears a scarf now to cover her head. I sometimes cry missing the gem that I had left in past. she is a brilliant person who has extraordinary skills and I love her! I wish the 'hi-tea' comes back and I could talk to her and know her story. A story of the women who hoped for a new dawn, a teacher and I wish I would know all about he some day, I think of meeting her I made a sketch for her I'll frame it and that day when we'll meet I\ll give her the gift of love.  


May god bless her and may her future brings more happiness to her-!


Written by your bubble mate,
Ayesha Riaz:-)

Hope For A New Dawn!

Picture by Ayesha Riaz

To clanking chains,
I utter your name,
eyes are flooded with tears,
still hoping for a new dawn,


In the staccato of guns,
I wish I could run,
From the tears that bowl along,
still hoping for a new dawn, 


Through prisoned wall of my pain,
I wish I could get back to where I belong,
to where I belong,
still hoping for a new dawn,


From my paralyzed actions,
and fear that has worse reaction,
I wonder if I could be a sugar daddy,
and be your liberator,


I am clapped out,
the juices have drained out of me,
still hoping for a new dawn,


To pull you out of bloodshed,
wish I could hold you,
like you hold me as if you are my mother,
But I am covered with shame under collar,
that I am not worthy for you,
and that I can not bail you out,
from all these sins you carry,
that aren't for your deeds,
I still hope for a new dawn,


When I'll be there with all my ducks in a row,
to guard you, to be your Armour,
to pull you out from darkness,
from those worst newspapers and utterance,
where you lie,
Still hoping for a new dawn,


You have wounds that are not all roses,
that could be cured,
Your color has grown feeble,
But yet I hope for a new dawn,


Yet I believe I would save you one day,
Eyes are flooded with tears,
and still I promise I would, without bbeing staggered,
you'll shine in a new dawn for ever,
Take you higher, where you ought to be, without sinking in the ground
You'll shine in a new dawn for ever,
I promise...


Written by your bubble mate,
Ayesha Riaz:-)