"Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness." - Oprah Winfrey
But I backspaced it all, I wasn't supposed to write this, this is a close sin, regretting! There are people who are always going to take out the prayer rug, sit down and pray just because they know he's the only one who is going to give and take. Once their work is done, they won't come back again until they face a difficulty further on! I don't want to be from the ones who are mean, unjust to themselves and to God. I realized that I need to wait for an answer. I am just a beggar in front of him, he is my lord.
Just when I sat down and read her letter, it made me all weepy, a melee of thoughts grew. She had written:
......I don't know but I think to me, you seem like a girl stuck in a huge spider web who's trying to come out but cannot......it continued on. But it it corrected me.
And then in my class I learnt something usual yet worthy, I had heard it a couple of times, said it to many but I had never understood it for myself.
Every person has some grimy days and some happy ones. Allah has given us both of these senates like a test for us, how we can control and bear them. When one can bear all the happiness all the bounties of life than why not sadness, why not grimace? Sometimes I think why is there have to be all this, why is there a need for me on earth? Why I have to drink up this tea whether its sweet or bitter? Such a common yet a difficult game is this that we our playing.
I don't know just today a feeling of guilty, of shame was growing in me. I was embarrassed on my dialog: Why me? For once my mind had succeeded in the battle with my soul. And I knew I was wrong instead I am wrong, there are corrections in everyone. I thought to correct them with you Mr.Bubble. You won't laugh over them.
The turmoil that has grown in me is: why me? I turned up my hands to you, prayed to you but why me? Why am I still unanswered. The heat, giving up heat has risen more, like a blaze, like an empty pot on stove sizzles when water is poured. A true warrior is the one who is neevr jealous from someone, he appreciates everyone.
But what my teacher and my soul says is: Its the most worst thing to regret yourself, to think that you are the world's most derailed product. Because you aren't, its not always you beneath the dark dark clouds, its not always you with the good and bad, this is the game. The real game and that's how Allah is balancing things.
Never think why only you? If you do so then think again, you are given the ability to read this that is vision, you are given the ability to talk, touch, smell and that's not all, there are many things around which maybe only some are blessed with and the others not. So think for a second why only you?
The point dear reader is that at times our lives take us to a place where there is darkness all over, where our existence, our cries don't matter but it never means you give up or you ask him questions like "Why only me?" You are living in your nutshell, you don't know what is going on around, someone's smiling in a pictures never means he is satisfied with his life. Allah has given sadness and happiness to everyone, stop thinking its only you. It never was and never is and will never be.
And then this saying of the legend came to my mind:
And you know what, I wasn't left unanswered. I sat and closed my eyes thought thought and thought for a long time and it struck me suddenly that every time I prayed God answered me, he is answering me. My prayers are listened, its just that they aren't good for me. I don't know what the outcome is going to be, he is trying to give me happiness, ease and maybe I am just a little too impatient! I started doing something I usually do: Mirror Talking, I looked at myself, talked to myself, practiced inner peace, patience in me. There are many corrections to make before I pen down further posts on practicing to be a real warrior of light.
At night in bed, I closed my eyes and re-opened, rubbed them, they were wet. Automatically tears came out. And I started imagining stuff, started thinking about tomorrow but then wait, I said to myself: Why do I have to think about tomorrow. Do I even know whether I'll last tomorrow, whether I'll open my eyes and look at the world tomorrow? I got the answer, I smiled at myself! How dumb of me I asked questions and answered them myself, why think about tomorrow and give yourself a hard time. Lets live in today. I know the final destination is the Paradise, all this shouldn't matter to me.
I cried, tried seeking for forgiveness, and then ended up waking up in the morning: New life. I am blessed Allhamdulilah!
And then I wrote it again:
Dear Allah Mian,
In this pure month of Ramadan, I thank-you for everything you blessed me, for these breaths I am taking. Forgive me! Please Allah forgive me.
For I am trying to correct this, I dont' know allah if tomorrow I'll wake up and see the world.. But I know this moment is a miracle and tomorrow would also be a miracle. My life, breaths I am taking its all a miracle, its just me too mad. I am sorry.
"You are not supposed to grieve Ayesha! Nobody on Earth is perfect" I keep reminding myself this. And I think you should too!
So now when ever I think of grievances and all the chronic of life I say it to myself what once AESCHYLUS, (Agamemnon) said: "Call no man happy till he is dead." (A loud laughter within me while I write this) And I wished, said it to myself that next time when she'll give me a letter she'll write the opposite. I promised myself. Instead I'll try to change! Bubblers lets try correcting ourselves, our souls & our mindset of life. Remember nobody's perfect. (Eureka)<----I felt for the first time.
For now I'd like leave you with a lovely song and I'll be back soon with another better post Inshallah:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw3tYiAFVfg
Written by your Bubble Mate,
Ayesha Riaz.
Before entering all this over here I wrote something, instead some questions I asked Allah and somethings I pleaded him for:
Dear Allah Mian,
I prayed a lot to you, begged you for somethings. For a miracle.
Dear Allah Mian,
I prayed a lot to you, begged you for somethings. For a miracle.
Is it just me? Why only me?
Why can't all be well forever, whats the need of my existence? When would my prayers be answered?
Just when I sat down and read her letter, it made me all weepy, a melee of thoughts grew. She had written:
......I don't know but I think to me, you seem like a girl stuck in a huge spider web who's trying to come out but cannot......it continued on. But it it corrected me.
And then in my class I learnt something usual yet worthy, I had heard it a couple of times, said it to many but I had never understood it for myself.
Every person has some grimy days and some happy ones. Allah has given us both of these senates like a test for us, how we can control and bear them. When one can bear all the happiness all the bounties of life than why not sadness, why not grimace? Sometimes I think why is there have to be all this, why is there a need for me on earth? Why I have to drink up this tea whether its sweet or bitter? Such a common yet a difficult game is this that we our playing.
I don't know just today a feeling of guilty, of shame was growing in me. I was embarrassed on my dialog: Why me? For once my mind had succeeded in the battle with my soul. And I knew I was wrong instead I am wrong, there are corrections in everyone. I thought to correct them with you Mr.Bubble. You won't laugh over them.
The turmoil that has grown in me is: why me? I turned up my hands to you, prayed to you but why me? Why am I still unanswered. The heat, giving up heat has risen more, like a blaze, like an empty pot on stove sizzles when water is poured. A true warrior is the one who is neevr jealous from someone, he appreciates everyone.
But what my teacher and my soul says is: Its the most worst thing to regret yourself, to think that you are the world's most derailed product. Because you aren't, its not always you beneath the dark dark clouds, its not always you with the good and bad, this is the game. The real game and that's how Allah is balancing things.
Never think why only you? If you do so then think again, you are given the ability to read this that is vision, you are given the ability to talk, touch, smell and that's not all, there are many things around which maybe only some are blessed with and the others not. So think for a second why only you?
The point dear reader is that at times our lives take us to a place where there is darkness all over, where our existence, our cries don't matter but it never means you give up or you ask him questions like "Why only me?" You are living in your nutshell, you don't know what is going on around, someone's smiling in a pictures never means he is satisfied with his life. Allah has given sadness and happiness to everyone, stop thinking its only you. It never was and never is and will never be.
And then this saying of the legend came to my mind:
Every moment I shape my destiny with a chisel, I am a carpenter of my own soul.-Rumi. It touched my heart, my inner soul. This was the right recipe that I had to agree. We are the carpenters, why regret on our own furniture?
And you know what, I wasn't left unanswered. I sat and closed my eyes thought thought and thought for a long time and it struck me suddenly that every time I prayed God answered me, he is answering me. My prayers are listened, its just that they aren't good for me. I don't know what the outcome is going to be, he is trying to give me happiness, ease and maybe I am just a little too impatient! I started doing something I usually do: Mirror Talking, I looked at myself, talked to myself, practiced inner peace, patience in me. There are many corrections to make before I pen down further posts on practicing to be a real warrior of light.
At night in bed, I closed my eyes and re-opened, rubbed them, they were wet. Automatically tears came out. And I started imagining stuff, started thinking about tomorrow but then wait, I said to myself: Why do I have to think about tomorrow. Do I even know whether I'll last tomorrow, whether I'll open my eyes and look at the world tomorrow? I got the answer, I smiled at myself! How dumb of me I asked questions and answered them myself, why think about tomorrow and give yourself a hard time. Lets live in today. I know the final destination is the Paradise, all this shouldn't matter to me.
I cried, tried seeking for forgiveness, and then ended up waking up in the morning: New life. I am blessed Allhamdulilah!
And then I wrote it again:
Dear Allah Mian,
In this pure month of Ramadan, I thank-you for everything you blessed me, for these breaths I am taking. Forgive me! Please Allah forgive me.
For I am trying to correct this, I dont' know allah if tomorrow I'll wake up and see the world.. But I know this moment is a miracle and tomorrow would also be a miracle. My life, breaths I am taking its all a miracle, its just me too mad. I am sorry.
"You are not supposed to grieve Ayesha! Nobody on Earth is perfect" I keep reminding myself this. And I think you should too!
So now when ever I think of grievances and all the chronic of life I say it to myself what once AESCHYLUS, (Agamemnon) said: "Call no man happy till he is dead." (A loud laughter within me while I write this) And I wished, said it to myself that next time when she'll give me a letter she'll write the opposite. I promised myself. Instead I'll try to change! Bubblers lets try correcting ourselves, our souls & our mindset of life. Remember nobody's perfect. (Eureka)<----I felt for the first time.
For now I'd like leave you with a lovely song and I'll be back soon with another better post Inshallah:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw3tYiAFVfg
Written by your Bubble Mate,
Ayesha Riaz.
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